Will it change?

well after a week in hell, I'm starting to try to come out of it. I'm not sure where to turn to at this point. I have spoken to shrinks all week concerning my home life. After 10 years I was validated in my feelings and concerns. Time to gain control. Now I know the word control has a negative continuation. But I do not use the word in a way to control and hold power over others but to protect myself. So we begin this battle of ridding the ex husband out of our lives. This would be great. Setting up rules and consequences for not following rules. No more lying. I have made mistakes. But as many or more mistakes have been committed against me. I feel I'm in limbo. I'm not sure why? Maybe I have been told before things would change and they did not. So I'm suppose to have blind faith? I'm a very guarded person always ready to defend so blind faith is not really part of me. I trust myself because I know me all others need to be looked at with caution.
The dog pic relates to last night. I was walking my pitbull down my road around 10pm. There was a large dog loose just standing in the dark shadows of a neighbors yard. I was a bit startled when I realized it was there just staring at me. I brought my dog closer to it hoping to scare it away. They barked at each other and much to my disappointment my dog put her tail between here legs and backed off. I for some reason couldn't accept this I pulled my dog closer. She resisted and I continued. The stray dog started barking at me as I came closer and started to crouch as if reading to lunge. I stepped closer and growled at that dog and I believe I was as ready to attack that dog as she was ready to attack me. Or was she testing me? Why did I growl at this dog? It just came out. The dog ran off I followed it for a bit to make sure it was gone from my street. I feel I am now the alpha dog on my street. But the feeling of beating the dog at its own game didn't make up for the feeling of utter disappointment in my dog being a pussy cat. It is not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the size of the fight in the dog. This Dog is tired of being poked at without acting out . It is time for action. I need to structure my life at bit more than it is right now. Too much free time.