Huge holiday sale!!!!

This is a one time only sale I'm selling off my body parts at a huge discount.
LIVER; slightly used, still in good working condition. WAS $5,000. NOW $4,500
KIDNEY: great for filtering. Please specify right or left when ordering.
WAS $4,000 Now $3,800. Buy both and save more. 2 for $6,5000
HEART: broken many times but remains working. WAS $10,000 NOW $8,000
TESTICLES: Wife has in her purse.
BRAIN: can't be sold was connected to testicals can't think without them.
SOUL; this thing has been remortgaged 3 times. Has a few stains that can't be removed but I have a feeling there is some good in there somewhere.
ALL EXTERNAL BODYPARTS ARE NOT FOR SALE, UNLESS IT IS SOMETHING YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. (BRING YOUR CHECKBOOK)
amex,visa,mastercard, and discover accepted.
once there sold there gone so shop early!!!!!!